The Last Four Sections of my Dating Rant

2009-08-08T01:17:00.000-07:00

Seventh, “Opposites attract” and “similarities are important”: Which is it? I have only had one real romantic relationship in my life and this was where I learned most about this point. This is also where I learned that you have to have both in the relationship. My ex girlfriend and I were of different religions, past experiences, and social beliefs. The brilliance to the differences was that we always had something to talk about. The bad part was that we had a lot to disagreements. Every couple has their similarities and their differences. To find a partner that is just like you would be extremely boring. To find a partner that is completely opposite of you would mean that you are about to have a one week relationship. The summery is as easy as this; you need an equal amount. A boring answer but a true one none the less.

Eighth, if you have to change yourself in order to date someone, someone isn’t right. You have spent many years becoming the person you are. It has come at the cost of trials, troubles and tribulations. So why would you ever want to change that? There are few things in my life that worry me more than seeing someone who changes because their significant other wants them to do so. I had a friend back in my high school days who was more a scrounge then anyone I have ever met. He was also borderline obsessed with a girl. When she would walk past he would stare and his jaw would hang down. Now I will admit now that she was a knockout of a girl but I was usually too busy laughing at him to notice. One day she approached my friend and they started talking. I left shortly after because I had somewhere to be and left them chatting. The next day he came to school dressed like the preppy boy from Hades (imagine the Abercrombie models that used to pose with polo shirts and sweaters tied around their neck and enough hair gel to insure a perfect hairdo had a tornado hit the school). After I stopped laughing, and it took hours and some Halloween jokes, I asked what he had done to himself. He explained to me that the girl he liked told him that she liked guys who dress like that… so he had. This instance is funny, but there are cases that aren’t so funny. The rule to the problem is this; the world would be a very boring place if we all pretended to be someone else. Your beliefs, views and philosophies make you different from any other person on this globe. Why waste that by trying to be like someone? In the words of Doctor Seuss, “A person's a person, no matter how small.”

Ninth, why am I still single? Because you are:

A) really hot and people are afraid to date you.

B) scared to ask people out.

C) creepy.

D) lazy.

E) lacking social skills.

F) you are an a**hole.

This isn’t a complete list, (mostly because I made it laughing) but you will notice I left off a few points. These points get their own list. You are not single because you:

A) are ugly.

B) are fat.

C) have something wrong with you physically.

The simple fact is that everyone has their own reason for being single and I would assume that 99% of those people don’t know why. What I do know is that you are a good looking person and while looks matter, they also differ greatly. I am a very small person, and the girls I chase are usually small also. Does that mean that I only chase walking skeletal systems like myself? No, and I know that it is true for most of my friends. The great God above blessed you with that body, it is yours to take care of and love. Do so and others will do the same.

Section ten is only for my LDS friends. So if you aren’t then congratulations because this pisses me off the most. This is against you sisters so I am going to apologize now for any feelings I am hoping to hurt. There are two things that I hope to make very clear. First, if you send a missionary out then you are free game in the eyes of any guy, UNLESS you tell them that you are serious with your elder then it is their fault for being stupid. This also means you don’t date a guy knowing it won’t go anywhere just for a free meal or movie. (Because I will find you and it will not be nice) This also means your missionary is telling everyone he knows how awesome you are to wait for him so don’t go around cuddling and making out with other guys while he is in outer darkness trying to do what his Lord has asked him to do. Side note, if you send more than one missionary out and end up marrying one of them, you can’t say that you waited for him… because you didn’t. My second point is this; and it is a simple one, if you have the chance to get married… then GET MARRIED. Missionary service shouldn’t ever interfere with marriage. I know this is the church and we require it to be spoken from an apostle so… "Worthy single women ages twenty-one and older . . . may be recommended to serve full-time missions. . . . These sisters can make a valuable contribution . . . , but they should not be pressured to serve. Bishops should not recommend them for missionary service if it will interfere with imminent marriage prospects.” That was Richard G. Scott… over the pulpit…in general conference… BOO YA!

My Life - Pre-Earth Take Over

The Last Four Sections of my Dating Rant